What's up next?!

Things has not been getting better and I expected it. Sometimes, I reali wonder what's in his mind. I did'nt want to quarrel with him, perhaps my expression give the wrong impression.. that I am angry. I am in fact sad... not angry.

My morale is still low..low..low, way beyond hope, i guess. I could feel the pain in my chest, it's still there. I did'nt tell anyone. Guess, perhaps i should belongs to the hamster family. Or perhaps I should'nt be in this world. Everything I do seems not right. Someone along the way, will be angry with me or for what I've said. Perhaps that is why I no longer speak as much. Could that be the reason? I have no answer...

For what i've read, yes. Perhaps I should ask myself, "what should I achieve today, and seek for an answer. Then pray hard...". Is that what a christian will do?

At times, i keep asking myself.. what on earth am I for. Why should'nt I be doing something that is more meaningful, something closer to my heart. Something that will cheers me up and give me motivation. So much more than what I am doing now. It seems im getting no where. It has been approxi. ten years. Oh my, time reali flew. Now that there's endless newbies in the market. Some are brainless, more are sucking up to bosses... almost everytime. omg! *faint*